Firm Belief

I can't recall the time and point in life where I became consciously aware that nothing in life happens instantaneously.  Though it may seem that there are certain instances in life that appear as a light switch moments to your conscious being; subconsciously things had been brewing for quite sometime, unknowingly.  I often wonder such things when I'm driving to work in the morning.  Whether it's a car that cuts me off, or another driver who yields when I have the right away and helps the flow of traffic transpire much more smoothly.

While each of these scenarios seem mindless, simple and appear as light switch moments, each of those scenarios began much sooner than the actual action that occurred.

Take the guy that cuts you off in traffic.  What was his or her mindset as they cut you off?  Were they having a bad morning?  Did something happen at home that bled over into their driving habits?  An argument, a misbehaving child, or did they simply make coffee and realized that there was no creamer.  Side note:  I'm not a fan of black coffee.  Or even more mind-numbing....maybe that person never even saw you when they cut you off.  Perhaps they simply peaked briefly into their side-mirror and didn't look for the blindspot.  So when you saw them speeding ahead and not giving a gentle "wave" for thanks, perhaps they never even saw you and meant no harm at all.....

What blows my mind even more is how emotions can transfer from person to person....spirit to spirt.  In either of those situations, the good driver and the not-so-good driver, an emotion can and most likely will be transferred to you.  I like to call these emotions "uninhabitable" emotions.  Those emotions that we pass to each other which tend not to reside with one particular person for too long, though they can be very destructive, and conversely very pleasing.

Hate is one of those emotions
Lust is another

Then again....

So is thoughtfulness
and compassion

On either end of the spectrum, these emotions are far from light switches.  Hate in and of itself is bred, long before the actual emotion is expressed.  And once bred, our fleshly instincts long to export that emotion to others....hate begets hate.  Lust is another.  Very similar in definition and expression.

Either way I guess what I'm learning along this journey in life; is that there are things brewing in the ether that I cannot and should not continue to try and control.  It's beyond my control, as I cannot be in the minds of those I come in contact with on a daily basis, nor can I be in their space continuously to help determine what emotion they seek to pass off to me!

However, as an able mind and body (I wrote that in my HS yearbook honestly not knowing what it meant, lol)  I have the full ability, mind, body and spirit to "receive" or "not receive" those uninhabitable emotions.

And it is at this moment where I pause to ponder naivety vs. honest deflection....the ability to truly "not receive" nor let the ills of the world affect your emotional space, while at the same time receiving the genuine goodness of positive emotional transplacement.

The journey continues...


Same person....growing in this life...

Within the Storm

So many moving pieces in life right now.  So many undefined corners, like that of a puzzle.  Each day you think you have an idea of what the picture resembles, only to be thrown for a loop, or to be reminded of another unresolved matter.  Perhaps when I'm older I'll look back at these days and take some sense of pride in going through the fire, the rain, and whatever else life decides to throw this way.  But in the midst of it all I see no tunnel, no light, no walls.  I only see the person that resides within.  Within, such a powerful word.  As abstract as it's definition leans to, it clearly captures all the things that we consider precious, valuable, worthy.  Our spirit is kept within.  Our heart, for those that don't wear it on their sleeve, our heart is kept within.  Many of us, self included keep our truest feelings within. And as precious, valuable and worthy as that abstract place resembles, it can also be a place of build up, or frustration, or sadness.

At 35 life is hard.  Perhaps hard isn't the right word.  At 35 life is daunting.  Imagine being able to see your hopes and dreams right in front of your face, only to have a single metal fence in front of you.  So you climb, but for some reason the fence continues to get higher.  You take a break, look down and see how far you have climbed, however in relative terms to your hopes and dreams, you feel as though you are in the same geographical location.....or to be a bit more logical....further away....I guess climbing over wasn't a good idea.  Maybe I should figure out a way to go "through" the fence....since the barrier is apparently an animate object, fighting back.....

Not enough clear thoughts to continue......

Be back soon.

The Journey