It's been calling me for quite a few hours now. The call to exhale all the emotions that I have inhaled over the past weeks or so. I honestly believe that it took BM's CD to get me to sit down and get away from it all to get my emotions under control so that I may be able to express them with clarity, yet and still, that I still may not accomplish, but here goes.
Life actually hasn’t been going bad at all. So I mustn’t attribute my absence to that. I don’t really have an actual “thing” to attribute it to. Maybe since school has started back, or maybe it’s the new job that has taken most of my time….putting it 10 and 11 hrs a day. That might have done it. But that’s neither here nor there. Nor is it my purpose or reasoning for coming to write tonight.
You see my folx came into town yesterday, and we had a great time. Watched the Falcons game today, wish they’d won, but I had a great time with them though, including my nephew ZD. But as great as that was, that still isn’t the reason that I came here….
After they left this evening, instead of doing the normal….playing playstation, or watching television, or surfing the net….I decided to finish washing a couple of loads of clothes, and iron my clothes for the week. I use these time to “get away from it all” to somewhat analyze more about KJD. It’s quiet around the house, with the exception of maybe some BM or Musiq or Kindred…which ever suits the mood. Tonight, I think it was the BM that really hit the spot. And so as I begin to drift into my thoughts, ambitions, goals, endeavors of life, my spirit led me to gain understanding about why I do some of the things I do. I guess it’s kind of like being your own worse critic. See here’s the thing…
It’s about Love! And heir to is my progression into it. It begin with me not having a clue about what Love truly was, and hence I use to supplement other things for it, feeling as though they’d take any misunderstood pain away. But I fell short, way short, because I didn’t know love, I didn’t have a clue what and how to let it control me, more or less embrace it. Which was when I really felt lost to a large degree….well not really felt lost, but “was” lost, and never knew it because I was so stuck in trying to find a substitute, or better yet….a solution to the emptiness that I didn’t know Love could fulfill.
Then throughout a process of learning, I met Love…..embraced love, felt love, and begin to “know” love. He taught me how I should live life, love life, and grow in love, so that I may live this life more abundantly. I really feel like the past few months have really taught me that I must Love, Love first, and then I’ll know how to use Love, to Love, the Love, that Love brings into my life.
Ok, now here is where I stand in my walk with Love letting it bring forth its fruit into my life, in essence where the rubber meets the road. You see, I seesaw with whether or not I have the capacity of harnessing the fruit of love. Sometimes I feel like I am climaxing and am ready to take on the responsibility of the fruit of the Love of my life.
(Sorry for the stream of conscious, but my mind is really going tonight). Lately, I’ve fallen into some of the strangest situations possible. I’m maintaining, and have been for quite some time now. I think the strangest, and quite possibly the greatest occurred Friday night. I went out on a date with this woman. We got to the restaurant around 5pm. We ate, and had a wonderful conversation. You see I’ve known this person for about 2 or 3 weeks now, but I never knew she had feelings, so we went out just as “friends”…….honestly. Well we finished eating around 5:45, but we didn’t get up from the table till 7 at the earliest. The conversation was quite amazing! Afterwards we went outside, sat in the car and talked more for another hour or so. We really expressed ourselves to each other which was a great thing….but the greatest of them all, which had nothing to do with physical emotions or thoughts there of. I remember looking over, and in the midst of conversing with her, I saw her soul through her eyes! I saw all the emotions that were within! I don’t think she realized it, or maybe she saw my soul, and all that dwells within it….I dunno. But I guess the thing that makes this situation strange is that we both know that we can’t be with each other…….as much as we both know we want to! Now try that one on for size with me and my walk with Love.
It’s quite tough, meeting someone, enjoying their company, and knowing that you can’t be with that person. I think we’ll maintain our friendship. But being able to see within a woman’s soul is a new non-negotiable. I really wish others could experience that, so that as you guys read this, you will really “know” where I’m coming from.
Well its getting late, and I feel a sense of accomplishment, scratching the surface of so much that I intend on getting out in the coming days. I plan on blogging more in the coming weeks, some stuff you guys may like, and some you may not…..but I’ve got to get it out!
So for another 24 hrs…..stay blessed!
KJD
[KJD] ß God insert miracle here!
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Monday, January 10, 2005
Fasting Time!
Hey Everyone!
I hope all is well on your ends of the globe. I wanted to stop in today and babble a bit about whats going on in the life of KJD.
Class starts tomorrow, and I don't know whether to take it as a good or bad thing. I guess its good cause I'm knocking down two more classes, and good because my classes are at the Cobb Galleria Centre, which is walking distance from my home. Bad, because lately I haven't been leaving the office until 5:30pm and class begins at 6pm on Tuesday and Thursdays! Oh well, maybe I'll do some manuevering to my schedule and see how things work out.
Speaking of working! So I got this assignment on friday, right. Well, I was under the impression that it was bigger than it seems, when all my boss wanted me to do was sort some paper work for the rest of the group. I thought she wanted me to not only sort but also process ALL OF IT. So I did just that, and lo and behold she comes to my desk this morning and ask that age old question......DID YOU DO ALL OF IT? I'm like "yeah"...what else do you think I've been doing the past two days, lol! But its cool, it really helped out everyone else, so I'll chalk that one up and be the team player.
I actually enjoyed this past weekend. Friday night was packed with events. First MKJ (my #8) had a birthday dinner at Carpe Diem in downtown Decatur. I enjoyed meeting up with old acquaintances from West Georgia, but the food (chicken ceasar salad) wasn't good at all. I actually miss being roommates with MKJ, we have sooo many stories to share when we get together, which is so far and few between these days....but thats my boi, my bruh, and my brother in Christ! After that I went to Copelands in Buckhead, for one of the sorors (RB - Complex Redemption). I had a blast!!!!! We laughed, joke, and acted a straight nut up in Copelands. I think we all had a good time that night. Those are trully my type of people!
Saturday, well since I didn't have a KJD night on Friday, I devoted my entire day Saturday to "ME Time". I played NCAA 2005 most of the day ( my new team is Notre Dame, which is my biggest challenge yet). Did some minor grocery shopping, cleaned the place up a bit, and rested! That was the bomb!
Sunday, church that morning, which was quite possibly one of the better revelations I've had in quite some time. That service had lead me to begin my first ever "FAST" in life. I am fasting from food (only 1 meal a day, period) in order to get filled with Word and Revelation about joining WCCI. I begin last night, Sunday January 09, 2005 @ 11:59 pm. And I plan to continue until this upcoming Saturday at 11:59pm. To read more about it, check out WalkingWithChrist later on tonight!
Well, here we go again, another Monday, I'm glad I've found time to blog again t hough....I was getting out of it for a min, and thought I'd never get around to blogging again.
What's new in the World:
1. The Mets got Carlos Beltran - someone please explain that one to me....musta been about the money! (7 years 119 million)
2. The Packers lost! That sucked, but I hope Brett Farve doesn't retire, then I'd have no reason to root for the Packers anymore.
3. Kevin Millwood signed with the Indians! Sorry Braves...he would have made a great 4th or 5th starter.
4. The Tsunami releif seems to be gaining more and more money each day! That's a good thing! I just don't think that people in America really realize the catastrophe that has occured....I know I don't!
5. My brother (KQD) went to Revival every night last week! I sure hope that God works with Him, and that He accepts Christ into his life! I love him dearly!
Well, I can't think of too much more to write about at this moment, plus my lunch is almost over, so let me get back to the grind!
Talk to you guys soon!
KJD
God, I still need a miracle!
I hope all is well on your ends of the globe. I wanted to stop in today and babble a bit about whats going on in the life of KJD.
Class starts tomorrow, and I don't know whether to take it as a good or bad thing. I guess its good cause I'm knocking down two more classes, and good because my classes are at the Cobb Galleria Centre, which is walking distance from my home. Bad, because lately I haven't been leaving the office until 5:30pm and class begins at 6pm on Tuesday and Thursdays! Oh well, maybe I'll do some manuevering to my schedule and see how things work out.
Speaking of working! So I got this assignment on friday, right. Well, I was under the impression that it was bigger than it seems, when all my boss wanted me to do was sort some paper work for the rest of the group. I thought she wanted me to not only sort but also process ALL OF IT. So I did just that, and lo and behold she comes to my desk this morning and ask that age old question......DID YOU DO ALL OF IT? I'm like "yeah"...what else do you think I've been doing the past two days, lol! But its cool, it really helped out everyone else, so I'll chalk that one up and be the team player.
I actually enjoyed this past weekend. Friday night was packed with events. First MKJ (my #8) had a birthday dinner at Carpe Diem in downtown Decatur. I enjoyed meeting up with old acquaintances from West Georgia, but the food (chicken ceasar salad) wasn't good at all. I actually miss being roommates with MKJ, we have sooo many stories to share when we get together, which is so far and few between these days....but thats my boi, my bruh, and my brother in Christ! After that I went to Copelands in Buckhead, for one of the sorors (RB - Complex Redemption). I had a blast!!!!! We laughed, joke, and acted a straight nut up in Copelands. I think we all had a good time that night. Those are trully my type of people!
Saturday, well since I didn't have a KJD night on Friday, I devoted my entire day Saturday to "ME Time". I played NCAA 2005 most of the day ( my new team is Notre Dame, which is my biggest challenge yet). Did some minor grocery shopping, cleaned the place up a bit, and rested! That was the bomb!
Sunday, church that morning, which was quite possibly one of the better revelations I've had in quite some time. That service had lead me to begin my first ever "FAST" in life. I am fasting from food (only 1 meal a day, period) in order to get filled with Word and Revelation about joining WCCI. I begin last night, Sunday January 09, 2005 @ 11:59 pm. And I plan to continue until this upcoming Saturday at 11:59pm. To read more about it, check out WalkingWithChrist later on tonight!
Well, here we go again, another Monday, I'm glad I've found time to blog again t hough....I was getting out of it for a min, and thought I'd never get around to blogging again.
What's new in the World:
1. The Mets got Carlos Beltran - someone please explain that one to me....musta been about the money! (7 years 119 million)
2. The Packers lost! That sucked, but I hope Brett Farve doesn't retire, then I'd have no reason to root for the Packers anymore.
3. Kevin Millwood signed with the Indians! Sorry Braves...he would have made a great 4th or 5th starter.
4. The Tsunami releif seems to be gaining more and more money each day! That's a good thing! I just don't think that people in America really realize the catastrophe that has occured....I know I don't!
5. My brother (KQD) went to Revival every night last week! I sure hope that God works with Him, and that He accepts Christ into his life! I love him dearly!
Well, I can't think of too much more to write about at this moment, plus my lunch is almost over, so let me get back to the grind!
Talk to you guys soon!
KJD
God, I still need a miracle!
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Growing in 3D
WOW! Finally I get a chance to post on my blog again!
First and Foremost Happy Belated New Years to All who come by here from time to time! Even the anonymous click!
So what's new in the Life & Times of KJD? Well as you all know I started my new job a few days before the New Year rang in! Well I FINALLY got my computer and desk set up!!!!!! I haven't gotten all of my account just yet, but I'm not complaining. It gives me time to understand what exactly is going on around here, lol!
On a personal level.....hmmm, what HAS been going on? Well, not much really...I say that with a grain of salt though, cause I can honestly think of several times this past week when I had the greatest inspiration, but wasn't able to put it down into words at that point in time.
Oh well, its a new year now...not necessarily time for new beginnings though, cause I began mine quite some time ago, but as each day comes and goes, I really feel like God is turning my crank more and more, and that soon...very soon...all of Him that is IN ME, is gonna come rushing out, in so much abundance that I won't know how to control it....but a good abundance though! I know that He has big plans for KJD, so I'll continue to go by His words!
Well my church, WCCI, has this thing about sewing the first fruits of your earnings and blessings, so I am pledging to sew in twice my tithes with my first check this month! I'm not quite sure how much you are suppose to sew in, so I think I might just resort to asking, lol.
Anywho, I can see that I'm rambling, so I'll cut this short. Maybe I'll have more to talk about tonight after my workout!
Be safe you all
God Bless
KJD
"God, I still need a miracle"
First and Foremost Happy Belated New Years to All who come by here from time to time! Even the anonymous click!
So what's new in the Life & Times of KJD? Well as you all know I started my new job a few days before the New Year rang in! Well I FINALLY got my computer and desk set up!!!!!! I haven't gotten all of my account just yet, but I'm not complaining. It gives me time to understand what exactly is going on around here, lol!
On a personal level.....hmmm, what HAS been going on? Well, not much really...I say that with a grain of salt though, cause I can honestly think of several times this past week when I had the greatest inspiration, but wasn't able to put it down into words at that point in time.
Oh well, its a new year now...not necessarily time for new beginnings though, cause I began mine quite some time ago, but as each day comes and goes, I really feel like God is turning my crank more and more, and that soon...very soon...all of Him that is IN ME, is gonna come rushing out, in so much abundance that I won't know how to control it....but a good abundance though! I know that He has big plans for KJD, so I'll continue to go by His words!
Well my church, WCCI, has this thing about sewing the first fruits of your earnings and blessings, so I am pledging to sew in twice my tithes with my first check this month! I'm not quite sure how much you are suppose to sew in, so I think I might just resort to asking, lol.
Anywho, I can see that I'm rambling, so I'll cut this short. Maybe I'll have more to talk about tonight after my workout!
Be safe you all
God Bless
KJD
"God, I still need a miracle"
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