Winter Cleaning

It's a New Year, and as mom so often says a New Season. New things going on in life, and a much needed New way of thinking on others. 2011 celebrates 6 years (on and off) of My Journey. Some strange things have happened over the years...some good...some not so much. But as I enter into 2011 and begin to look back on what I've gone through over the years, I have to pause each and every day (sometimes multiple times), and give thanks to God for 'everything" that has transpired. Not only because it makes me the man that I am, but because it also gives me a testimony that I hope to share with someone else, at some point in life.

So what exactly does the new year bring? Well as you can probably guess by now I'm still living in the Mid Atlantic. However between that and my job being the same (love my job); not much else made it into 2011 that was around in 2010. So if I could label 2010 in a few words it would probably best be described as a "forced house cleansing". I do think it's interesting though. Sometimes we pray for things with full ought regard that the end result is what's best, but not really realizing what trials, tribulations, tests of faith, and perhaps moments of unrealistic regret we'll have to go through in order to have our prayers answered. I can honestly speak truth to this now that I've gone through what transpired in 2010. For example, I can recall numerous prayer sessions on my knees, or in the car, or where ever the need for guidance took place. I can recall me pleading with God for guidance on uprooting unfruitful people and things out of my life. Now mind you, this wasn't a one time prayer where I prayed it and just gave it up....this was a "I-need-you-now-tomorrow-thedayafter-thisweekendtoo" type prayer. One of those continued prayers where you prayed about it so much that it became as common to your prayers as "Amen". While I can look back on those prayers and give thanks that they have been answered (a much needed house cleaning in 2010)....I can't fully say that it was the easiest thing I've ever encountered. Take for example people being removed. Sounds positive..sounds like something we should do with unfruitful people we encounter. But actually doing it is a beast. Not comparing people to sin, but it's like trying to overcome a sin. We can say day in and day out that we'll stop sinning, but each day is a struggle, sometimes severe, to make that thought a reality.

So here we are....2011! A somewhat clean slate. An new opportunity to not make the same mistakes that were made in 2010. I have a good feeling about this year though. Much better of a feeling that I've had in past years. Things really seem to be falling into place on this end; and for that I give much thanks to the Lord above. I have a few things on the "to-do" block that I'm hoping to get accomplished this year. Leading the list is getting more active in church. A close second is Graduating, for the final time, this year. Other than those two, I'm working on a non-profit that I would like to have off the ground this year....and productive in 2012.

So now that I've done a bit of house cleaning...I've been thinking about my prayer and meditation for 2011. For whatever rhyme or reason the phrase "my rib" keeps coming to mind. I guess if God saw fit and need for Adam to have his, perhaps He'll see fit and need for me to find mine in 2011. Now that....that would be "Magical".

Processing my Journey....

Flesh v. Faith

Here I am....back at it again. Each time I return to my blog, I return with the intent of sticking around and being as consistent as I was back in 04 and 05. But for whatever reason, once I take time out and bleed my thoughts on the virtual pages of life, I find myself retreating back into the world.....I guess for different reasons. Needless to say, here I am, back at it again.

So I'm a bible believing person, truly I am. I've had my faults in life, but through each of them I've always worked to bring myself back to the two simple truths that I hold dear; Love and Faith. The latter of which I think I'll choose to shed my inner light on today.

Growing up I learned about faith. I learn about how to apply it to live, and how holding onto it would yield fruits unimaginable. But work with me here folks. Nobody, well at least nobody that I've come in contact with over the years, "ever", explained how difficult it was to maintain faith (not in God, but in self) over and extended period of time.

Since it's been quite some time since I consistently blogged, and I'm pretty sure those that viewed my blog for malicious purposes have moved on, I'll do something I haven't done in a long time. Instead of blogging about my Journey and all the sights and sounds of this journey, I'll do something that I don't think I've done since the early days of this Journey. I'll open up and express the personal effects of this journey and what it has done to a young man trying to make good out of his life.

This year I approach another year towards 30 years of life on this earth. Now while I do contend to be spiritual being, living in a non-spiritual world, I have to admit that the flesh competes day in and day out with faith. Now what I won't do is begin to ramble on and on about non concrete topics......so I'll just get to the point.

This morning I woke up, prayed, showered, cooked breakfast, and began to clean up around the house. In the midst of it all, I opened the blinds in the living room to allow the sunlight to shine inside. And that's where the metaphorical faith vs. flesh battle surfaced (as it's been brewing in my soul for a while). Now across the street from where I live, and coincidentally on the opposite side of the street from those very windows I opened, sits a huge Cathedral, multiple steeples and all. Normally on Saturday mornings I see random people walking by, taking pictures, standing in amaze at the building, etc. Typically you'll see random non-ethnic people walking in and out of the building over the weekend. However, and for whatever parenthetical reason, this morning, in the midst of my battle with living in a foreign land for the past 3 years, there just so happened to be a swath of black people piling into this church, dressed to kill. As I sat, flipping the channels from Law & Order to College Football, I began to try and make reason of what event black people would be having at a typically non-ethnic attended building. About 15 mins and 50 or so people later it came to me....and that's when the internal battled on faith in self surfaced.

I remember back in college I dated "mid-march", heck I even remember in high school when I dated "mid-night dreams". I remember "faith" (the person, not the stronghold). I even remember "Comfort". All of whom I've dated at some point in life.....all of whom are married to someone else.

So with that said, I am spending my Saturday working diligently to make sure that Faith (the stronghold) overcomes the flesh. Because clearly...everyday...flesh tries to convince me that Faith isn't working......

But I (through God) knows better.

Journey