The Ike Turner Syndrome - Test #1

Ok, so I'm really in no mood to give some sad rendition of how bad things have been, becuase quite frankly, things have been more good than bad.....so hear goes!

Life has been changing lately. Some days it seems as though the darkness far outweighs the light; which I know is a terrible thing, but with love and faith, I know Jesus will provide. Sometimes I question me... my actions, my words, my thoughts, and what I find myself binding myself to these days. Pastor preached last sunday about it...about binding yourself to Christ and becoming addicted to that way of life.

Things have been differently lately. Job's different, school is different, church is different. I dunno if it that whole idea of maturing and seeing these different than when your mindset was binded to things they weren't suppose to be or not, but things are definitely different. My never ending conversation with myself concerning women is evening changing. And believe you, me, I have had my tests since last I broke away from the Matrix to come here and write.

Test 1:

Girl #1 (And I emphasize the term "girl" because once you read it you will understand):

We'll call Girl#1 ...."The Domesticate abused Housewife"! So I've known this individual ohhh since maybe January, strictly as friends, mind you. Well she calls me out of the blue on night and proceeds to tell me how afraid for her safety she is....in her own home. She continues to tell me that she and her "EX"(who doesn't live with her) had been in an argument earlier that day, and he got so upset he literally coated her driveway with a "fresh" new coat of paint!

*Sounded childish to me at first*

Then she mentions how she had gone to his house and wretched his front yard...

*This let me know that the person I once thought I knew.....I really didn't*

Well, our conversation took place around 11:00pm on a work night, and she asked if she could crash at my place for the night until the situation was resolved. So me being the kind hearted person I am....I said ok! Well this Girl, calls me back 10 mins later, and says nevermind...and that she is going to just be strong and call the cops if he comes back! So "I'm like "cool" call me if you need me!"

A week goes by and we have only one conversation, in which she tell me "thank you for the offer", and that she is ridding her life of this guy who is definitely abusive! So, naturally I'm happy for her.

*Here is where the story gets obviously twisted*

A week later (two weeks have gone by now), she emails me and asks me to meet her for lunch. So I agree and we meet up to walk and get a bite to eat. Well when we meet up, I express that things have been rather quiet between she and I and I was worried about how she was and all. So she proceeds to tell me that she has some "news to tell me"....

*So Now my mind is going crazy...and here is the list of things I thought she'd say*

1. She had gotten a new car...because we'd talked about it about a month earlier.
2. She was going back to school...that had been discussed previously also.
3. Something was wrong with someone in her family...since I knew she was close to her Grandmother.
4. Now my mind starts wondering.....

So this "Girl", as I emphasized earlier, proceeds to show me the ring finger of her left hand, and says: "He proposed to me last night"!

*Wait a min? Did I miss something? Aren't you the same woman who just two weeks ago was "fearful" of your life, and how abusive you felt this guy was? Didn't you and I have a sit down talk two weeks prior in which you sat there and told me what kind of guy you were looking for God to bring into your life? The same lady who told me just how bad for you this guy was? And now the same "girl", who shows up out of the blue one day with a engagement ring on?*

So, unnaturally, I couldn't find a thing to say! I just proceeded to keep walking to the diner in which we were headed to for lunch. She followed (which was awkward, because I never like for a woman to walk "behind" me.) , and proceeded to ask me if I was "mad" at her? I hesitated, in order to gather my thoughts, and then quietly proceeded to tell her "NO, I'M NOT MAD! CONGRATULATIONS....I'M PROUD OF YOU! Without a hint of anger.

*Now mind you, me, I do think the girl was attractive, but I'd never gone there with her. In this instance it was more so the principle!*

So we get to the diner, and you could cut a slice through the tension. I ordered my food, and we sat down at the table. Then she continues to ask me if I'm mad, and pops the “guilt” question out there!

- I thought you wanted me to be happy? –

So, I look at her with utter disgust, and I politely tell her, “Yes, I do want you to be happy”…that’s the problem! But not one time did I even go back into the conversations we had previously about how bad this guy was for her, and how messed up he had made her (ALL HER WORDS, NOT MINE). So we sit for what seems forever, and finally the cook calls my chicken salad sandwich up, and I get my food, and we walk out together. On our way back to our buildings, she again tries to justify her reasoning, and I (unlike my normal self) refrain from saying ‘anything’, now that was strange, because usually I’d have a ton to say! I just remember her last words to me before I walked away were…”so are we friends still?”……as I walked up the stairs to my office…..

I don’t call it spiteful or wrong to not answer her…but I didn’t want to lie and say yes.

I guess some women I just don’t understand. Dude can literally proclaim to beat you down….and you still stay with him….hell marry him even!

Maybe I need to try that one, lol…From hence forth; we’ll call it the Ike Turner Syndrome! Nah, I don’t think it’s in my blood to treat a woman that way! Although, I do wish her the best. It’ s just not a situation I want to find myself in. Sometimes I think it is best for a person (man or woman) to find out the truth about themselves……by themselves.

You guys have a great 4th of July.

God – “I’m learning how to Agope you!” "But these women are confusing"