Cyclical Effects

There is no concise rhyme or reason as to why I chose to take this 8 month break from blogging. Although as I look back and reflect...those who have so often said that hindsight is 20-20 should receive some sort of world renowned reward.

I've been burning inside to post for quite some time now though, and now that I'm here I can't clearly get my thoughts across. Maybe it's writer's block...then again maybe it's the thing that has kept me away for such a long time.

*Where there is nothing left to do.....massage your soul*

I think that often time satan/lucifer (whatever you choose to call him) picks and probes at us, much as a doctor does a patient. He embellish our inequities and peels our unhealed scabs. I can admit now, much that I wasn't able to admit in certain parts of my life.....I do have issues that need dealing with.

My Issues: (wouldn't the world like to know)
1. Money....and how to ration(alize) it.
2. Woman (in the plural sense)...and how to love and let go(d).
3. Myself....and how to leave well enough ALONE.

See I got it all out in 3 short sentences.

------------

So lately I've been having trouble praying. I think that it has a lot to do with #3 above though. You know that old cliche...."when you know better"...."you do better". Well I think that that applies to my life to a "T". I mean I make mistakes. But the problem is really that I make the mistakes, its that I know that I"m going to make the mistake before I make it.....and yet I still go through with it. Conceptually...is that really a mistake. I mean am I really being "real" with myself. As I'm writing this, I'm searching for a more emotionally correct word to describe it. I'll clue you in when I find it. In the mean time I'll continue racking my brain for the answer.

So back to praying. Often times when I pray, I feel as though I'm avoiding the real reason I took the time out to honor and communicate with the Father. It's crazy because often times I feel as though I'm "Sugarcoating" with God, and I know that's wrong. But it's clear I must have the answer because #1 I know that I must go to God, and #2 I know of my mistakes/problems before they occur.

So the answer....more Word...better surroundings...more obedience...more faithfulness. I'm working on it...daily. Maybe some facets more than others, but I'm working none the less.

Thanks for listening....

I'll be back more often now (God Willing). I have so much more today, but today this needed to be released. I hope you take this not only as a portion of my life, but as a message to the soul.

My Daily Word to God:
I need thee every hour, every minute, every second.