Flesh v. Faith

Here I am....back at it again. Each time I return to my blog, I return with the intent of sticking around and being as consistent as I was back in 04 and 05. But for whatever reason, once I take time out and bleed my thoughts on the virtual pages of life, I find myself retreating back into the world.....I guess for different reasons. Needless to say, here I am, back at it again.

So I'm a bible believing person, truly I am. I've had my faults in life, but through each of them I've always worked to bring myself back to the two simple truths that I hold dear; Love and Faith. The latter of which I think I'll choose to shed my inner light on today.

Growing up I learned about faith. I learn about how to apply it to live, and how holding onto it would yield fruits unimaginable. But work with me here folks. Nobody, well at least nobody that I've come in contact with over the years, "ever", explained how difficult it was to maintain faith (not in God, but in self) over and extended period of time.

Since it's been quite some time since I consistently blogged, and I'm pretty sure those that viewed my blog for malicious purposes have moved on, I'll do something I haven't done in a long time. Instead of blogging about my Journey and all the sights and sounds of this journey, I'll do something that I don't think I've done since the early days of this Journey. I'll open up and express the personal effects of this journey and what it has done to a young man trying to make good out of his life.

This year I approach another year towards 30 years of life on this earth. Now while I do contend to be spiritual being, living in a non-spiritual world, I have to admit that the flesh competes day in and day out with faith. Now what I won't do is begin to ramble on and on about non concrete topics......so I'll just get to the point.

This morning I woke up, prayed, showered, cooked breakfast, and began to clean up around the house. In the midst of it all, I opened the blinds in the living room to allow the sunlight to shine inside. And that's where the metaphorical faith vs. flesh battle surfaced (as it's been brewing in my soul for a while). Now across the street from where I live, and coincidentally on the opposite side of the street from those very windows I opened, sits a huge Cathedral, multiple steeples and all. Normally on Saturday mornings I see random people walking by, taking pictures, standing in amaze at the building, etc. Typically you'll see random non-ethnic people walking in and out of the building over the weekend. However, and for whatever parenthetical reason, this morning, in the midst of my battle with living in a foreign land for the past 3 years, there just so happened to be a swath of black people piling into this church, dressed to kill. As I sat, flipping the channels from Law & Order to College Football, I began to try and make reason of what event black people would be having at a typically non-ethnic attended building. About 15 mins and 50 or so people later it came to me....and that's when the internal battled on faith in self surfaced.

I remember back in college I dated "mid-march", heck I even remember in high school when I dated "mid-night dreams". I remember "faith" (the person, not the stronghold). I even remember "Comfort". All of whom I've dated at some point in life.....all of whom are married to someone else.

So with that said, I am spending my Saturday working diligently to make sure that Faith (the stronghold) overcomes the flesh. Because clearly...everyday...flesh tries to convince me that Faith isn't working......

But I (through God) knows better.

Journey

Listening to Silence

(head phones on....smooth jazz echoing)

So today is June 17th, 2010; and for the first time in the 3 years that I've lived in the Mid Atlantic, I will be traveling to Atlanta.....stress free (for the most part). Tomorrow morning I'll get up, load up the car, slip in some smooth jazz, and begin my 9hr drive down the east coast. You see, this weekend is the annual greek picnic in Atlanta. And while I am Greek, I really don't go for the "festivities". I tend to go to surround myself with familiar faces, familiar voices, and familiar friendships. In the past, when I've made trips to Atlanta I've always felt as though I had to be on "someone" elses schedule. Whether it was someone I was dating at the time, or the "bruhs" who wanted to do this or do that. But this time....this time, I found a nice hotel, in a quaint area of metro Atlanta.....I get to drive on my own time and at my own pace. I get to choose whether or not to stop in Augusta and visit Brown Sugar (childhood best friend) and her family. I guess I'm rambling, but no one knows how bad I just need to get away, if only for a few days. This year (2010) has been a roller coaster year...with many high points, and a few low points. But sometimes, between those high and low points, you just want to put the cell phone down, cut the news off, close the laptop.....and listen to silence.

Speaking of listening to silence, this notion came to me a few days ago as I went for a "walk" at a local park. You see, for 2010 I've been on this whole idea of "losing" weight. So typically when I excercise it's running or some variation of it. Well this one particular day I decided to "walk"....mostly because my knee was killing me, but also because I had quite a few things on my mind. Well in the midst of my walk, when no one else was near me on the track, I felt as though I could hear "silence". I know it sounds strange, but when your life is consumed with hustle and bustle; fixing this problem and that problem; answering this question and that question....silence actually has a "sound" and I have to admit that I'm so feeling that sound. I remember it quite well. I was coming around a curve, and for whatever reason all the joggers, baby strollers, etc....had disappeared. For about 2 good minutes, all I heard was silence, no birds, not dogs, no crying babies. It was as if everything had slowed down....and what's even crazier, it was as if my soul silently said......thank you.

So tomorrow I make this 9hr journey....of peace, of laughter, of fun....but most importantly in search of another 2 minutes of listening to silence.

My Journey