The Sun's Up Longer (now I can see)

I think that I write now in order to say stuff that no one is in this apartment to listen to! I also think that I’ve figured out my setback in life. You know, that “one” think that cripples you no matter what you engage in! Ironically, it’s confidence. And yes, I can be the first one to say it because I’m probably the biggest analyzer of myself! If I can recall all events and happenings in my life that I have had to really “learn”, the reason that I wasn’t good at it to begin with was because I lacked confidence in knowing that I could accomplish whatever task was in front of me. Like football for example:

I remember back when I was in the 7th Grade, and I went out for football for the first time in my life. It was the first time I’d stepped foot onto a regulation style football practice. Man I was the worst! Not because I didn’t know how to play ball, because surely I did. It was that I lacked the confidence in knowing that I was good at what I was doing. So as time progressed and I begin to become confident in what I was doing, I got better, not just because I became a better athlete, but because I became more confident in what I was doing. So as time went on, my confidence level grew, and I became for efficient in what I was doing.

I also attribute that to classes as well. I mean I’m not the most proficient accountant by any means. But as this semester has progressed I’ve gained confidence in my work, and in my discussions amongst the rest of the class that has an age grasp on me of about 5-7 years.

This confidence thing is really a trip though. And I think it can be attributed to all things life. Well I think that all things that have biblical roots can be attributed to something life. Confidence in the bible? Well, there is event in the bible where these Priests were among demons, and the demons asked who they were. Well the Priests responded by saying that they were of Paul, who was of God (paraphrasing). Now if they’d have confidence in who they were (Son’s of the Living God), then they would have proudly proclaimed that as such. Needless the say the demons were not afraid of these priest because they knew not who they were.

So I guess that, that is my mark on today. To know Thyself. Therefore understanding that I am a direct reflection of He who is!

I mean I’m not perfect, although, I long to be with Him who is, but while I’m here on this earth, in this flesh, ruled by this spirit in which He lives, things get hard sometimes. And its interesting to though. Because often times when things aren’t going well, whether it’s the job, or a friendship, or a relationship, I can always trace back the roots to the same issue. That confidence, or lack there of, of entering into any type of anything.

I guess I say all of that, and have taken about 20 minutes out the day, to say this. KJD, when things are going the wrong way, hit the breaks, look around to see where you are, take out the map (i.e. the bible), and find your way back to the road that you should have taken to begin with! It usually is always a point in time that you can trace back to where it started. If you can find that point, then 10 times out of 10, you can move forward from the bad position/situation that you are currently in!

Keep Searchin KJD….its there!