Moving & Shaking

Ok, so I'm spending the last few minute of my lunch hour typing away. I've had so many thoughts lately that I've found myself, confusing myself.

It just seems like so much of "nothing" is going on. Things attributing to stress, that aren't attributing to my life. Issues, situations, lifestyle changes, you name it. I'd rather be more specific, but it seems like 1:30 is slowly creeping its ugly head around the corner. Maybe it won't be too bad if I take another 5 mins to put down my thoughts this afternoon. See it as I usually, just as today, work through my lunch.

So where do I begin?

Ok, you remember a while back when I wrote this long post about "Highway True Love". Well you guys I thought I'd found my rib, my soul mate, my confidant, my inigma of love....but what I realize was that she wasn't "my" rib, "my" soul mate, "my" confidant, nor "my" inigma of love........she was someone else's. Which, truth be told, KJD isn't oblivious to the truth, it's just sometimes I get confused between faith and falacies....and truth be told, in this situation, I don't know which is which.

I truly love this person, much as I love myself, now that part I can not deny, but if there is one thing that I have learned in the 4 or so months of me and (hmmm...let's call her "Faith" (Fear of Aloness in The Heart) have been seeing each other is that in order for true love to transpire, Love must Endurth all! If it falls before the completion of its cycle, the bond between myself an faith will surely break.

*side note* - Ok, so I'm rambling, cause truth be told, my mind is going out of control as I type.

Back to the mayhem. I think I'll leave Faith and I at that for the time being and maybe devote an entire post to this situation, when time allots. But Lord knows, I need to get it of my mind and this current feeling out of my soul, because confusion is something I really don't need right now.
_________________

Grandma is sick! That really sucks. Mainly because I'm seeing the effects that it is having on my family. I haven't had anyone die in my family since maybe 1999 or so. So we've had a good long string of years with no deaths in the family. I'm praying that she makes it, really I am. Mom's is worried sick about the situation, which doesn't help, but I do know that God knows best, and I must reside to His authroity in spite of what mine says!

Life is strange like that though. Especially this situation. I walked into the hospital on Saturday and saw my grandmother for the first time in God only knows how long, and it kinda felt funny, but then it didn't. I sat on the bed, and and we talked, she told me I could have some of her grapes, and we laughed and tripped for about two hours or so. She didn't seem apprehensive with the fact that we'd lost so much time. I think she is just glad that we are able to make up for some of that lost time with the love that we are showing each other now. I surely do hope it brings my family closer.......but you know God always has a perfect plan! And I truly believe "she" is part of it!

School is out, School is out........thank the Heavens! I did ok, this semester. Could have been better, then again, it could have been worse. I have about a month or so to decide if I want to keep this summer course, so hopefully I'll have my mind made up within the next two weeks! I want some time off, but everything inside of my is saying, "Keep Going KJD"! Faith gave me some advice, and she always asks how class is going, so I guess my continuation of classes would be worth it. But with our recent "issues"........ok, I said I was going to stop talking about her didn't I?

Anywho, I also found a softball team to play on which starts this weekend! So hopefully I can revert back with good information on monday....and/or sunday night!

Well, as you guys can see I clearly went past my 5 or 10 min mark, and I still didn't get it all out! Sometime I feel like blogging is my "sponge". It allows me to speak those things in me that there is no one hear to listen to. And yet and still, I never get it completely out! I'm getting there though!

Until the clock tolls another hour,

KJD