I woke up this morning, Christmas Morning, realizing that the older I get, the more into (and sometimes out of) focus the holiday season gets….I’m glad to be home though. I guess it’s nothing like waking up and knowing that your family is just a room or two over. So much different than waking up night after night; 600 miles away from home. Now don’t get me wrong, it isn’t that I don’t want the adventure of seeing what else the world has to offer; however on certain occasions, mostly Christmas and Thanksgiving, it goes without saying that being around family makes a grandiose attempt to bring life back into focus.
There was no monopoly this year, nor the typical gang of presents under the tree. You see we (as in my old high school classmates and family) normally get together and play monopoly hours upon hours on Christmas Eve. However, I believe that Christmas 2007 will forever go down in the books as a Christmas of learning; a Christmas of understanding; and a Christmas of being thankful for from whence you came and the possibilities of where you are going.
Perhaps I’ll open up this morning, more often than usual, and share some of my inner experiences that normally are left within the quasi fluff posted on my blog.
IE #1: Wake Up
So I’ve been having these crazy feelings when I wake up in the morning. I’ll do my best to explain, but I still haven’t gotten my hands around it just yet. So I wake up, let’s say 6:30am or so. I have to admit that on certain occasions, before I pray in the morning, I’ll go get something to drink or something of that nature. I turn over out of bed; head racing with thoughts, as if I’ve been bombarded with self inflicted questionnaires all through the night. I make it to the kitchen of my 800sq ft apartment, and manage to pour myself a glass of “whatever”. I drink, and then head back to the bedroom to begin my morning routine. Unbeknownst to me, my body has not awakened, only my mind has. It seems to hit me just as I am getting back into the bedroom. It literally feels like my body, at that moment, gets out of bed and jumps into my mind to bring me back to wholeness. Strange I tell you….strange. It kinda feels like one of those cartoons, where the character is going extremely fast, and leaves himself in a blur. Once he stops, the blur catches back up with him. In my case, I can literally feel my body readjusting to itself, 5 mins after I’ve awaken. Go figure……just thought I’d share.
IE#2: Am I Adamish?
I really need whomever reads this post to pray for me…..really. I believe that satan is really trying to distort my clarity in God’s Word for my life. And his choice of poison…..money. See I’ve always thought of myself as being the “fiscally responsible” type. However, since July 2007 satan has made suggestion after suggestion that goes totally against what God has revealed to me where finances are concerned. In Genesis, the bible talks about how the “serpent” convinces Eve that if she eats of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of G&E that she will not surely die. Well, I think that that old satan is back up to the same tricks with me. Only this time, satan is trying to convince me that if I spend my money frivolously that I surely will not go broke. Well, that’s a lie. In my opinion, satan does not make me spend the money on stuff that I know I shouldn’t, he merely give suggestions in a worldly way. And me, sometimes dumbfounded or perhaps a better phrase, “lost without the word (LWTW)” succumbs to the materialistic ways of the world. For example, before I left to come home for the holidays, I checked my statement from last month to see what I had really spent money on. My bottom lip is still on the floor trying to figure out how in the heck I blew, nearly $500 last month. And I’m not talking about on shoes or clothes or anything tangible. I mean, I literally blew close to $500 last month. That sickens me to my stomach just typing about it. But I have to get it out, or I’ll never come to grips with the reality of the situation. There’s gotta be a better way, a more diligent approach. I’m afraid to go back and do a “real” recap dating back to July 2007, to really assess the damage. I need clarity, I need Word, I need the way out. Whether it be long or short, I can not keep down this path, or I’ll be back at square one, seemingly having lost the majority of 2007. Keep me in your prayers please.
………..more to come. It’s time to go watch my nephew open his Christmas presents.
KGF – Keep God First.
KJ
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