The reality of it all...
She's beautiful. Personality meshes like the sweetness of a fine wine. She's grounded, in many ways; not caught up in the system or seemingly led astray by any wrongful thoughts of the world. You may meet her walking down the street or in the grocery store, or even through a friend.
Nope....I'm not talking about the woman of my dreams....I'm talking about women that men encounter each and every day. They are out there....however there appears to be one issue, that seems to have assimilated in to each of the "good fellas" conversations.
(Good Fellas = The-good-single-nongay-trying-to-make-life-better-men)
WHY DOES IT SEEM THAT A LOT OF THE 25-30 SINGLE WOMEN HAVE 1 or more KIDS? (If you've read to this point, do not get upset and feel the need to post a negative comment on my blog....a brother just needs to vent)
Now before you get ready to cock the gun and pull the trigger on me, just listen to what I have to say. I'm not saying that this is a 99.9% accuracy test. This has just been a few guys experiences over the course of our "mid-twenties". Quite honestly, I've gotten the notion that perhaps there is this Don Juan out there impregnating all of these beautiful women. I mean it can't be that many dead-beat dads around.
Here to lies the cyclical effects.
#1 Single woman meets Mr. Don Juan.
#2 Single woman gets whood by Mr. DJ.
#3 Single woman has child by Mr. DJ with all of the promises of a fruitful life together.
#4 Single woman With child (SWWC) finds out that Mr. DJ (aka Tyrone) is really Mr. DJ.
#5 Mr. DJ skips town, leaving SWWC broken.
#6 In walks one of the Good Fellas....
(story continues)
So here we are, at the monent where the GF means the SWWC....whether it be walking down the street, in the grocery store, or even through a friend. Now the GF doesn't know the drama that comes along with the SWWC, but sees a beautiful woman who he'd like to meet.
Below are the issues we (the GFs) currently deal with in these here sitcheasions.
#1 SWWC isn't over DJ
#2 SWWC has a shattered view of all fellas
#3 SWWC is looking for someone to help foot the bills.....
(now I'm sure there are other situations besides the above 3, however for the emphasis on my negative post today we will stick with these).
Er to lies the issue with the GF's pursuit of a SWWOC or a SWWC (and something other than #'s 1-3 from above).
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end of random thoughts...
8 comments:
Seems as though you left out a lot of circumstances. There are a lot of ways I can go on this one, not enough space or time. But here it is..
It is not always a "Don Juan" situation either- we make choices-meaning sometime we know what we are getting into and sometimes we don't but we are not always duped and left!
However contrary to your belief-there are a lot of very self-sufficient women doing big things with one of more kids. Not neccesarily needing a man to take care of the bills or spot her on nothing!
Now there are some woman who would like to be taken care but are they wrong for that?
Great blog!!!
I'm sick of the whole single woman with kids thing too...like, sisters...keep your legs closed.
Same goes for the men. Keep your business in your pants, please. There's no requirement for us to have children out of wedlock.
P.S. added you to my blogroll as well. Good lookin out.
What you condemn in others you area attracting to yourself.
Ms. Tee
I would have to agree with the previous comment. You have to look at a person for who they are. Don't put people into a box because of one thing. Many people have children out of wedlock, it does not make them bad people. Many people have children during the course of a marriage it does not make them any better. The couple could be unhappy, one or the other could be cheating, they could only be staying because of the kids, etc. Look at a persons heart not their circumstance, it would make this dating game a little easier.
I think that all of the comments are legit...really I do. Yall just don't know how I needed to vent that day, lol. As I said within the blog, I'm sure there are 4,5,&6 circumstances that aren't negative...but seems that lately the negative have outweighed the positive....
Interesting...while I'm older than your 'test group' I have to say that I think your dilemma lies in what you are attracting. I know many women in your test group that have no children. As a matter of fact, there are many women in my age group that don't have kids - and we aren't ugly either, LOL.
But I understand your vent because I went through a period when I felt the same about the men I met..they all had kids with drama.
Now I'm meeting all these men in their mid to late 30's without children and it's grand. I've concluded that I didn't meet the men I was looking for back then because I wasn't ready to be the woman they needed.
You forgot SWWCWJWTBL...Single woman with child who just wants to be loved...
;-) Great post.
Nice post!
I think similar is true for GFs with kids by women. They, too, aren't always over the relationship that brought forth a child and sometimes we are left with lots of wounds to help heal.
PS-happy new year!
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