Time is of the Essence

Good morning world. It's Monday morning; still raining in the Mid Atlantic. I've decided to take the first few moments out of my work week to release....

Today's title, Time is of the Essence is so overly important to me right now...

As I sit here, headphones drowning out the Monday morning chatting, I can do nothing more than think about where I've been....where I am....and where I'm going in life. I want so much out of life....beginning with happ(y)ness...evolving to consistency....and maturing to dedication. I guess as I sit here and type, the song echoing between my ears (Gravity by John Mayer) is so right on time.

Have you sat down and recollected on where you were at some arbitrary time in life? Then, simultaneously sought to see where you currently are in life....recognizing the improvements and the dissensions. I guess I'm going through that this morning. Perhaps it started as I got up this morning and began my morning jog around downtown. I mean, I like where I am on the outside; and to a certain degree, other people seems to like that view of me as well. The outside...coated with glimmers of success and ambition. But the inside, the part of me within, the part of me that nobody ever sees....that part...hell I can't even begin to explain. Unnutured, unwatered, empty, a lot of other negative adjectives, that I feel sick to my stomach even trying to explain. What's worse is that the fact that for the past 10 years of my life, it has caused me to close that side of me off. Perhaps because I've never seem to run into anyone who (over a long period of time) really gave a damn about the "inside" of me. They say they did, but as I look back on life, all they seemed to care about was where I saw myself, career wise in the next 5, 10, 15, 20 years. Or they wanted to know how "financially" stable I was...did I invest with Ameritrade or E-Trade...was my portfolio diversified...what was my debt/income ratio. And what's worse....I fell into it for a few years....feeling like exposing people to the outside of me was enough to suffice...all along, the inside of me screamed for someone to walk into my life and say "all that other stuff doesn't matter as much as them learning to love the inside of me." Someone that says...."Journey, the inside of you matters to me." ........................................

Time is so important to me in life right now.....I hope it doesn't pass me by.

Journey....not a good view right now.