Sunday afternoon, and here I find myself; at it again. Not knowing what the day will bring, I open my mind, my heart, my soul; accepting what things God has for me. I went to church today...for the first time in a while. Not that I have been spiritually disconnected, because WCCI hosts its services via the Internet. But today was healthy for my spirit because as Time so eloquently put it, you shouldn't "forsake the assembly". So regardless of whether I know 50 people in the service, or just one...we are all pursuing the same goal.....God's Will. A large part of me wishes Time was there this morning, but the more time passes, the more I'm understanding that just because you really (and I mean really) want something; doesn't mean that the timing is God's. So in situations such as that I'm working more and more on listening to my Father and neglecting what the world's ignorance tells me.
I wanted to share a few phrases this afternoon....in relationship to what I learned between the hours of 10am and 12:30pm. Perhaps they'll help someone else, or perhaps they will be words of wisdom to me at some point in the distant future.
#1: The enemy (satan) seeks to destroy our hope (or our blueprint for life) so that faith (our building mechanism) has nothing by which to work.
I've had a few conversations with friends near and far about situations they've had, and about situations that I've had, where Hope is concerned. Unlike the past, today I'll choose to address my own issues, rather than rant about someone none of my readers will know.
I pray...usually everyday, at some point. Often times 2-4 times a day. I've found myself praying in the shower, or at the kitchen counter. I think the funniest/oddest time I found myself praying was one morning recently when I was running late for work. I got up rushing...took a shower, got dressed as was out the door. Well you see, I park my car two blocks down the street in a garage. As I'm walking down the street, it hits me, that I forgot to pray that morning. So right there, in the middle of the busy sidewalk, I stalled for a few moment, bowed my head and gave thanks to God for all that he's done...ironically enough, no one looked at me in any odd way...I guess God is still in control.
Speaking of prayer, and hope, I often times pray for things, specifically. Lately one of the things that have been heavy on my spirit concerning myself is the friendship of woman. I pray to God that His Will be done, concerning my life mate, knowing that whomever He places in my life, must be handled with care, if I ever want to see a future.
So here is what's so odd....I have quite a few female "friends". We chat often, hang out on special occasions (reunions, meet-n-greets, etc...). What's strange is that with them, there is a strictly platonic friendship established. Now that wouldn't be so strange in any other circumstance, but then you (me) meet someone that you genuinely feel strong about growing/pursuing. Somewhere between these two sets of people is where my prayer lies with God. You see with my female friends, I can be just that a friend...not hustle or bustle about anything else. But when I have a friend that I'm interested in pursing friendship first, then perhaps something more....a wrench seems to get thrown into the system.
It's hard yall, trying to befriend someone, while at the same time being genuinely attracted to that person, and seeing so much on the Inside of that person. On one hand you have to spend your time and energy getting to know that person; while simultaneously not pushing the R word, even though that's what you'd like to work towards. I know I know.....you're probably going to say what everyone else says....."just let things flow". While that statement isn't a false statement, until you've walked this path (from my point of view), it's hard to just "accept" that phrase.
So in a nut shell, that's my prayer, at this point in life, where woman is concerned. The good part about it is that I have good people in my life that give me encouragement that God is working with the woman that He has for me, and that when the Timing is right, His Will will be done......but in the meantime, whew..this is a tough one. I'll make it though; because just as Bishop said this morning..."If you want God to be serious about your situation, then I have to be serious in pursuing His Will for that situation".......so off I go.....
I think I'll break now...watch the rain fall....let pandora.com resound in the halls of my place...and perhaps I'll return this evening.
Blogging is extremely therapeutic....
Day 2 of Year 5
Journey
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